#16 My Neighbour.

January naturally is very quiet, you know cause everyone is broke and partied out. I like January. I like time to myself, I like sitting in my own company, candles lit, series on and horizontal on the sofa. So it wasn't unusual for a Thursday evening to spent doing exactly that.

And then my doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting a delivery from Baskin Robbins (the ice cream that I love most - try Jamoca Almond Fudge!). And yes, you read that right. An ice cream company delivers ice cream to your door in the Oasis. Once I did it twice in one day. Same delivery driver. Mortified. But also don't care. Adulting for the win.

Anyways back to my doorbell ringing and being disappointed it wasn't the delivery man. I peaked through the eye hole thing, whatever it's called and there stood my neighbour. I was in my pink dressing gown, minimal make up and it's up to you whether you think I was wearing anything underneath. I opened the door with a smile because I'm a polite human and said hello.

Now he is not a bad looking man. He lives in the studio apartment next door, always out on the balcony making loads of noise but remember the advice I've shared before? Don't shit where you eat.

N: "Hey! A few of my friends are going out to the desert, do you want to come?"

What - so you can gang rape me? Don't panic. I did not say that aloud but it is certainly what went through my mind. I politely declined and that was that. He also left me a little Christmas present with a Christmas card. Don't ahhh, it was cheap and tacky and weird.

Needless to say, he knew where he stood after that instance especially as I had the girls over and talked about it whilst chilling outside on the balcony. He heard it all. I thought he was out. Note to self. Don't do that again.

The beginning of 2019 my heart longed for Pingu. He was in Sydney and obviously having a good time because he wasn't texting me half as much, the interest was gone and I can't blame him. He had a new playground with plenty of beautiful girls and new experiences to gain. It was hard to fall in love with someone knowing you'd never get the chance to try it for real.

I played it cool and kept my distance but I couldn't stop reliving through Christmas and the lead up and all that he had said and done, and our minds being aligned. It was a lot to process.

I had hoped that he would ask me to go out and visit him, I would have loved to. Another naughty weekend, err... yes please. I secretly had it in my mind (and budget) to visit him at the end of Feb for his birthday but since he faded out and a friend floated the idea of Bali, I ditched Australia and jumped for Bali at the end of March. He never knew.

Valentines Day. He actually messaged me to wish me, it wasn't obviously his first thought of the day but it was still nice he messaged. I replied wishing him. And then a little later I asked where his head was at. I felt brave and like I had been hanging on, nothing to lose and I needed answers. Was I the only one? Was I being stupid? Should I carry on hoping?

P: "I'm just doing me. Why do you ask?"

H: "I just wanted to know because I think about you everyday."

Basically it was clear that he wasn't that interested but he also said that he still thinks about me and he hasn't met anyone that has come close to me. (Obviously - there's only one of me, dur).

And this is where the manipulation started. Because quite clearly he knew he was going to love Australia (as I expected) but he also liked the attention I gave him. It wasn't going to work well for a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. But he easily dangled the carrot cause he knew how my mind worked.

Since Valentines we chatted more regularly, like everyday again because he knew I was thinking about him everyday and he liked it but I had a plan. His birthday was at the end of Feb and I would wish him which I did. I sent a really nice message actually, I put a lot of effort into it. Ok I even drafted the damn message the night before and sent it so he woke up to it. I'm thoughtful like that. He appreciated it.

A few days later, I was up front and honest. I told him I couldn't do this anymore and that it was healthier for me to cut my contact with him so that I could get over my feelings for him. And that was it. He understood and I knew he would respect my decision.

He messaged six days later to tell me he was moving from Sydney to a town in the middle of nowhere in case I wanted to visit. But I stayed strong and didn't reply.

Moral of this story? Trust your gut. Say no to dodgy neighbours, say no to men who clearly don't show the interest you deserve.