I used to pride myself on the fact that I had been single for over a year and not touched a dating app. Don’t ask me why, I just did.
My best mate started to go on all these Tinder dates and I thought “fuck it, why not?” So I downloaded the app, created a profile with some alright photos (5) and only one saucy swimsuit shot but it wasn’t very clear (not aiming to be saucy but to show my cheeky side, wow the overthinking is real) and a short, funny bio. Didn’t link it to my Insta (for privacy purposes) and off I went. Swipe, swipe swipe.
Now in the Oasis, it’s important to mention that over 75% of the population is Asian so apply this to the app. There’s a lot of nationalities that I am not attracted to. I’m not racist. I’m honest. I want someone who will have the same or closely similar values, upbringing and culture. I learnt my lesson from my last relationship that even the smallest culture difference can actually impact a relationship. Don’t take this to heart, it’s just my personal preference. Moving on.
Reflection time: it was amazing to feel open to a relationship again and it was also amazing to know sort of what I was looking for more so in the sense that I knew what I didn't want. It helps in this journey called life.
So I swiped left a lot more than I swiped right (this is normal, I mean you don’t fancy everyone do you?). If I did swipe right (like, left is dislike) which is when you like the look of someone, or their bio is funny and not continuously repeated like:
“ You look a lot like my ex-wife.” Cringe.
“Swipe left if your high maintenance” Erm… usually a reflection on you bud.
“I don’t want commitment and I’m looking for some fun if you’re brave enough”. Uh huh…. You and everyone else on this app Tim.
So, I quickly realised Tinder in the Oasis is somewhere to find someone you want to fuck and that’s that. There are a few boys/men out there who want it serious which is cute but it comes across desperate and actually the way it’s written is very intense.
I got chatting to nearly 30, Paul. A pro golfer, cute and learnt quickly that I was a fan of ice cream. So what did we plan to do? Go for ice cream, good for me. Winner. I met him, he officially looked better in a hat and he wasn't wearing one. I didn’t tell him that and we got chatting about life in general, goals, future. The small stuff. But he made it quite clear that he was eager to move back to the UK and find someone he liked enough to move back with him. This was short term, he was talking in the next few months which kinda blew my mind and made me feel like he was actually having a mid-life crisis whilst also deciding whether I was that girl.
I thought only girls freaked out about timing, you know clock ticking, gotta have a baby but Paul introduced me to the fact that apparently, boys do too. Now not all boys, as not all girls feel this way but Paul was an eager beaver, and was no way getting near, in or around my actual beaver. The ice cream was good, the company was alright. He wasn’t my kind of guy, and I wasn’t his move back to the UK immediately girl either. A mutual end.
I had matched with some real hotties yet hardly anyone makes conversation with you. Some do, to which they lose interest or I lost interest. Some were pricks and assuming assholes. Some were funny like the guy who works in marketing for Durex, his job was hard. Ba –dum-tsh. Bloody hilarious, our banter was great and then out of nowhere no response and I’d been ghosted?
There might be one guy that I really liked the look and sound of that I would message first but honestly I think it happened once, I personally think it positions a lady in a difficult position. Either you look desperate and eager (like my beaver) or it looks like you've got ovaries and maybe they're afraid of strong, go out and get what you want women. I suppose I should have switched to Bumble if I wanted to be the first talker...
Turns out everyone seems to be on there for validation and if I am being honest, I think I was too. I was still nursing my feelings for Pingu so searching for validation elsewhere was probably natural (as she uploads another photo to the gram - how many likes is it now?).
The Tinder hunt continues.
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