Since the big aubergine and I agreed on a fuck buddy situation, things changed between us. He wasn’t the same and it was clear he wasn’t putting as much effort into me which obviously was fine because I liked him for his aubergine and his sexy Brazilian accent. There was no long term future.
He was the perfect description of a snack because he wasn’t breakfast, lunch or dinner and I would eat him occasionally rather than all the time.
It had been two weeks. I didn’t want to see him after the cum on my face incident and then I was surfing the crimson wave, painting the town red, on shark week: whatever best describes the time you have your period.
He wanted to know why I hadn’t been in touch and when I told him I was a code red, he was like "men are pathetic. It’s just a bit of blood and it still feels good". I was impressed. The Narc didn’t want to touch me during that week. He made me feel like I was disgusting, he was completely grossed out but it’s perfectly natural. All fecking females have it you dickhead. Once a month for years on end (ok, there is an end but I have yet decided whether it's a good thing or a bad thing). I suppose that just shows what an immature bastard he was. Whyyyy did I not see the signs?!
When comparing the Narc to the high school sweetheart, he’d go down on me during that week. He’d grab the tampon string and fling it across the room to get into me. It sounds gross, yeah fine but it was hot. Like there was no fear and he didn’t care because he wanted me no matter what was in his way. It was the same with Pedro. It made me feel desirable which at the end of the day, guys take note, that’s all girls want. (Ok not all, but it helps).
Anyways so after I discovered that little bit of knowledge, I also told him that we couldn’t have sex anymore unless he wore a raincoat. He wasn’t keen and I was like ok so no more sex because it was none negotiable for me from now on. He was keen to see me though, he still liked my company and was happy to not have sex. Who was I kidding? I knew his play. Fine, come over. So he did. We talked and kissed and talked. And when we both were naked, I got up and marched to my bedside draw to hand him a condom. He put it on and we continued.
As I’ve mentioned before, he has a big aubergine and it didn’t look comfy in a medium sized raincoat. I think he needed large or extra-large. So he ripped it off. No more sex. It was a shame but I was sticking by it. Until he was eager to still get in me and how it happened I don’t know but he had me against the wall by my neck, trying to fuck me without a raincoat on and I fought him away. Aggressively.
He was fuming and he went to sulk in my bed. I lay on the sofa going over what had just happened. I knew he was always going to be bad news and part of me wanted him to leave. But I didn’t say anything, I lay on the sofa in silence. He asked me if I was going to come to bed and I got ready for bed and climbed in naked. Oh hindsight, should have put some clothes on. Some form of barrier. If only I had a chastity belt.
I woke up in the middle of the night to him kissing me and he started to fuck me. No raincoat. I am completely aware that this is rape. I don’t know what else to tell you. It happened. Woke up in the morning, cooked breakfast, and he wanted me again and it happened again. No raincoat. Disappointed. Embarrassed. But I knew one thing for sure, that was it between us. I didn’t want to be fuck buddies anymore. He’d broken the trust.
So I messaged him a week later:
H: “Hey, so I’ve been thinking and I think we should call it a day on our fuck buddy situation. It’s been really fun being naughty with you and I’m sure I’ll still see you around. H x”
P: “I didn’t get it. What do you want?”
H: “I want to stop seeing you for sex. I don’t want to lead you on or miscommunicate where I am at”.
P: “That’s ok! We haven’t been seeing each other much anyway. Well do you think I was getting too involved?”
H: “No I don’t think you’re getting too involved”. Which is true. He had backed off since I said about being fuck buddies.
P: “Yeah Im not, to be honest I wish I was… you are super fun and pretty and have a nice butt everything I like and also cook amazing breakfasts…. But I thought you knew I still love my ex. That’s why I said I am not dating too many people at the moment because I have already tried it and didn’t work. But that’s fine all good”.
Erm… what? To clarify, he never told me this. A clear reaction to get me back for rejecting him. Luckily I wasn’t offended.
H: “Glad this is mutual. Cool.”
I’d love to tell you that was the last of him and it was, in the bedroom but he still features.
Moral of this story? Go to a self-defence class. I did. And wow it hit me hard with how I should have dealt with this situation. Interesting the effects of a raincoat when it’s not raining outside. Damn rotten aubergine.
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