You know my best mate who was there ready to take me to the sex clinic to make sure that my bush wasn't infected by some rusty rake? Well I was off on a girls holiday with her and some of her mates.
Now I'll get this out the way, this was meant to be her hen do but the man she was meant to be marrying decided he didn't want to anymore #dickmove and so the wedding was off. Best she knows now rather than later ey? (Oh and I will gladly tell you that he's been pining after her for the last 6 months wanting her back. Men. Eye roll).
Our holiday had been booked and there wasn't a chance in hell that I was missing a party. I'd never had a girls holiday in Europe before, let alone Marbella. I was a tad nervous, cause I didn't know the other girls very well but Daisy was my best mate and I was never going to let her down. Whilst I was keen to get laid because it had been 2 months and I was fecking horny - my priority was Daisy. It was important to me that no matter what, she was having fun.
Met the girls in Gatwick for pre-drinks, as you do and off we went. Obviously as soon as we checked in, we'd be getting our make up on ready to go out. We were.a good looking bunch. I am not going to lie, things escalated quite quickly when we all ended up peeing in the same cubicle one after another within 6 hours of arriving in Marbella. Turns out I'm not shy to take my body suit off and sit there naked whilst everyone else just had to unzip their shorts. The alcohol was flowing and dance moves were grooving. We stayed up until 6am (which was 9am Oasis time). Ended the night with McDonalds. There - set the scene for you.
The Saturday was all about Nikki Beach. Somewhere I was really looking forward to and I had bought this purple swimsuit especially for the occasion. It was particularly revealing on the boobs and bum, I had to be careful when bending over cause guaranteed either one or both tits would be out. The alcohol was flowing and dance moves were grooving. I'd spotted this delicious man across the pool, pink shorts, lean as fuck, a little older but kinda delicious.
I was chatting to Emily at the side of the pool when he made his way over to chat to us, his mate joined and we were flirting and laughing. He was probably near 40 but I won't lie, fucking him went through my mind and I definitely thought it would be fun. The purple swimsuit was a hit because he said so, I felt on point. Make up was pretty good and my hair was just how I liked it until... Daisy pushed me in the pool and I went from beauty queen to drowned rat. #cockblocked
You can't cry can you? I laughed. The little shit! I tried to get her back but there's not much running to be done when guaranteed your tits would be out and that's not a sight to behold so I took it like a boss. Ok, I tried. I tried to take it like a boss.
We walked back to check out of our gorgeous hotel and move to a hostel. I was dreading it. Have you ever stayed in a hostel? There's no damn mirrors in the room. There's sharp things that stick out of your bed so you can lock your draws under your bed - bit extreme and definitely a safety hazard to your legs. There's no en suite, you strut yourself down the corridor in a towel to use a communal bathroom. But what we had done is booked the whole room to just us and it was like being on a school trip and it just added this ridiculous element to the whole trip that I just wasn't expecting.
Anyways... as soon as we got in, I obviously had to wash my hair again and regain my beauty queen status ready to go out. Dinner and then on to a club. I was knackered, struggling to keep my eyes open but it was a fun venue and Claptone was playing, legend! (If you don't know him, look him up).
Daisy had gone to the bar whilst Emily, Kirsty and I chilled on a futon. (Gemma and Charlotte didn't join us). Of course the absolute babe came back with two men on either side of her. They were quite delicious. Out of the six girls, three of us were single including Daisy. So when I saw Daisy walking back with two guys, I thought here we go. I am in luck and she's been an excellent wing man all on her own.
When she reached us, she said "Holly, I've bought you back two South Africans"... and my face just dropped. She laughed her little head off, I had played right into her hand because she knows how I feel about Saffas and I basically turned my face from a big smile with glistening eyes to a child who just had chocolate ripped out of their hand. Or like a Holly who just had an aubergine ripped out of her mouth. Same same.
We all got to chatting. Daisy and one of the guys couldn't get it on quick enough. The other guy was chatting to me and Emily and he was so cute and giving all these compliments but I just wasn't really interested. He told me exactly what he thought... along the lines of you're obviously a very kind hearted girl with a big heart and someones taken advantage of that. Ugh did I have it written on my forehead?
When Daisy went to leave with the one, we said bye. Emily was like "you only live once and he was really cute" so I thought fuck it and we marched after them to say I'm coming but long story short, she was sneaking into this place where the guys worked and she thought that we wanted to come back for a party. We didn't. I wanted a shag. #cockblocked I was so embarrassed and I didn't say anything and just let her do her thing and the girls and I headed back to the hostel. Another 6am.
You could hear Daisy's heels coming down the hall. She'd been satisfied and was literally beaming when she came into the room and got into bed. Emily and Kirsty went off for the morning but Daisy and I literally couldn't get out of bed we were so tired. Whilst lying there, I explained my side from last night and she didn't realize that I was wanting to jump his mate. Ah well. She laughed, I laughed, we all laughed... at me.
It was the last night in Marbella and off we went back to the good shit for more alcohol for flowing and more dancing for grooving. All six girls were out tonight. We were pre drinking at this bar, where the waiter was hot - in a weird way. Gemma and I have the same taste in men and were both eyeing him up until we all kind of forced Daisy onto him and so Gemma and I were out of the play altogether. #cockblocked
I was well and truly on my merry way when a bunch of guys rocked up aging from 25 - 65 for a stag do. We got chatting to most of them and they headed to a club with us. I got chatting to this guy, he was married. An absolute no go for me. I am a girl who had her heart broken by a Narc who was cheating with a married woman. It just doesn't sit well with me and my values so why the fuck was I snogging the face off this guy and heading back to his hotel to fuck him?
We were walking and I was so quiet, I felt sick. He was staying in the same hotel we were in on night one. But security wouldn't let me in because I wasn't staying in the hotel. Passport copy then you can come in. I didn't have one and I was so grateful that the security #cockblocked me. The universe had spoken and I didn't fight to stay, we walked back to the club (I marched), went and downed two drinks and danced my socks off. I didn't want to even speak to him again I was so mortified and disappointed with myself. I was relieved and very very drunk.
7am we got back to the hostel. Slept until we could and start to gather our shit together to head back to where we all came from. Turns out living in the Oasis is great practice for a party girl because I thought that I wouldn't be able to keep up. I could keep up but I couldn't get laid no matter how hard I tried. Ok I didn't try that hard with the married man because I remembered I had a passport copy on my phone.
I was so glad to think I'd never see that guy again, and I couldn't believe the guilt I felt the next day. But we had to bump into them at the airport. It was one of the most awkward things ever when the sound of an aeroplane came from one of his bags. Bought a toy airplane for his son hadn't he? Oh god.... I think I might vomit.
I know what happens on tour, stays on tour but that's usually if shit went down. My first girls holiday, a lot of mischief but absolutely no aubergines were eaten. Will just have to book another one next year.... I wonder what Magaluf is like?
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