Get your mind out the gutter.
Ok, now. Shall we begin?
It's a Saturday morning, usually I'm up bright and early but today I had a lie in, with a day by the pool planned. I was pottering round my bathroom with the sun blearing through my windows and I get a message. To my surprise, it was Pingu. I hadn't heard from him for about three weeks.
He had been home, to Portugal, home again and now passing through the Oasis on his way back down under. He wondered if I had time for a coffee. His disorientated state meant he hadn't connected the dots that it was the weekend, and he was thinking that because I work near the airport, I'd be able to see him. "It's Saturday". It didn't stop me from asking how his trip home was though.
Bearing in mind that he told me of this massive gigantic plan to stay in Australia to buy and do up homes and that was his priority. Obviously me being me... a girl, asked him well what if you meet someone and then your big plan doesn't go to plan and he was all like that's fine but this is what I want.
Now after being home with his lovely family, sister has another baby on the way, dad and brother and the business doing well and it took him weeks to get his wee niece to like him again. He's heart broken that he could think he could do his grand plan. He's going to stick to getting a visa and then go home to work with his dad and brother again. Pretty cute.
"Rookie expat".
Because it's true. I knew he was a big family man and that going home always grounds you. It's a good thing. It was cute for him to be vulnerable to me. So I was vulnerable to him, I told him I was planning on leaving the Oasis. Because I was. It was time for a big change for me and I thought that moving to the UK was the right thing. "As soon as I'm back in the UK, I will be on your doorstep wearing tin foil".
It was cute but totally unrealistic. I told him he couldn't expect me to wait for him or for him to wait for me. I said there was no point in planning cause the world doesn't work out that way - what can I say? I'm a realist. His words.... "you make it work if it's what you want".
I repeated "you make it work. If it's what you want".
"Don't you dare". He read my mind, he knew what I was thinking and right there I knew, that these 10 months whilst I was holding on, and offering chances to visit him, it was basically for the benefit of him to have a little attention and here I was hoping fairy tales were going to happen. Let me tell you, there is no such thing as a knight in shining tin foil. Get yourself to fuck.
He talked about how he wanted to see me at New Years and that he was hoping to spend it in the Oasis. I told him that this New Years was going to be all about me because last years was all about him. He said he was ok with that.
I fell asleep and woke up to nothing so I text to make sure he got home ok. He did and was already on his way to work. I told him to have a nice day and that was the last blow. You make it work, if it's what you want.
The year mark came where we had a beautiful magic moments of a two night stand, nothing from him. Christmas and all the memories of our romantic weekend last year flooded in, nada. 2020 was upon us, not a peep. It hit me that he had probably met someone else, I've always been fairly intuitive so as soon as it hit me, I knew it was the case. I'm happy for him.
His birthday was 2 weeks ago, I was toying with the idea of messaging him to say Happy Birthday and re open that door (for the hundredth time) but it's finally happened. I've let him go. I look back at Pingu as something magical but really he was manipulative and I think the universe sent him to me to remind me that whilst knights come from magical lands, they don't wear fucking tin foil.
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