I’m not going to lie, I am struggling to find the sass to write during this lockdown. Plenty of stories to write but the days all blend together and by the time the weekend comes, I don’t wanna even look at my laptop. Yet here I am. I knew I needed to write a blog and guess what!? I just came across one written that I totally forgot to post so it is a little out of sync. I mean this happened long before even the large aubergine came on the scene.
The half Spanish God came back, his name is Alf. You know the one I am talking about. Remember? The one that works with me but doesn’t work with me. Well the company chat was still occurring between us and the texting was irregular but I’d seen his face pop up on Tinder a couple of times and quickly swiped left. After I checked out his pictures obviously, who wouldn’t?! I’m very nosey. So, it would have been quite clear that I still wasn’t interested. He’s another one I would brand as a serial dater. I don’t have the proof, it’s just a feeling I get. There was an air of desperation around finding someone and I do think that’s influenced by his age and his friendship circle.
He did invite me on his boat party for his joint birthday with a friend. Yes, boat parties are very popular in the Oasis. My girlies were also invited and we got word that Alf had a girlfriend and that she would be on the boat. Oooh well things just got interesting. I wasn’t competing for him, that’s for sure but I was curious. The girls and I were on the boat chilling out even though we knew no other girls which can be particularly intimidating and only a few other boys. Three single blondies with a few single guys could make for an interesting Friday afternoon. It was certainly the Fridayest Friday that ever Fridayed.
Janette, my absolute bestie was a major spinner. As in she likes spinning. Oh for goodness sake, I mean stationary cycling. Alf’s girlfriend turned out to be - only her favourite spin instructor. This was pretty funny and Jan said that she thought that the girlfriend was way out of Alf’s league even though I actually didn’t think much of her. She was a tall, skinny brunette, fairly pretty but very stand offish. Equally as skinny as Alf. She was Muslim. Alf being English with Spanish background but typically English, liked his drink so it was a pretty big contrast as far as dating goes. Apparently, they fought on the boat, I didn’t see but the boys were talking about it. He was hammered and why would he invite three single blonde girls from work I think was the question? I don’t know nor do I care but I had fun.
We ended up at a very pretentious beach club. Not my scene but it was fun and I owed Alf a drink, it was his birthday after all. By this stage, he probably didn’t really need a drink. He insisted to buy me one instead. I could not believe the next sentence that came out of his mouth:
“You know I fancied you”. I mean, what the fuck was I meant to say to that? “I asked you out”.
H: “I know you did but I didn’t realise that’s what you were asking”.
A: “Why? Why didn’t you go out with me?”
H: “I don’t date people from work. It’s just a personal policy that I have”.
I honestly hadn’t a fucking clue how to get out of this situation but I certainly wouldn’t have imagined my escape to be because his girlfriend showed up whilst he was buying me a drink and was eyeing me up disapprovingly. I hadn’t even been introduced to the girl and she already hated me. So I asked her if I could get her a drink, we were stood at the bar so it seemed like the most logical thing to say. And what did Alf say?
“She doesn’t drink.”
Well no shit Sherlock… I had worked that out but also drinks don’t always mean alcoholic. He had made it so awkward and I was absolutely mortified that I literally just walked away.
I was stood chatting to a friend of Alf’s who was over for the party from the UK before Alf marched his way over to say
A: “What if we were to get married?”
H: “You have a girlfriend”
A: “Yeah but that doesn’t matter”
Well fuck.
I don’t think he remembers saying it. He never brought it up again during company chats but after that, company chats faded out.
Six months later, he’s back sliding into my company chat again. Asked for some CrossFit gym recommendations and when I asked him about why he had given up spinning, he told me it was too much cardio. Yep, he was single again.
Since then I had got a new job, it wasn't public knowledge at the office but I had handed in my notice right before Christmas. I had a message from Alf on Christmas Day wishing good tidings and all that and then asked me if the rumors were true?
H: "What are the rumors?"
A: "That you might be leaving us."
H: "It's true. My resignation has been handed in"
A: "The office won't be the same without your laugh."
H: "I don't think you will be the only one saying that".
I'm not big headed ok. It was a corporate office with very few youngsters around and I kinda couldn't give a shit anymore.
A: "Will definitely miss it. But maybe this means we can for for a drink sometime?"
H: "We'll see."
Since I have left, which is now four or five months ago.I haven't had one single text from him.
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