You cannot love someone if at first you do not love yourself.
2018 I would describe as my best year by far - not by dating standards. In fact, it was a year all about me. It was bloody magnificent. My councillor Lizzy, said that I should go away for Christmas and enjoy all the good stuff.
Before you brand me as some chick with mental issues. This is an inner company service and was recommended by my male boss to go to. Maybe he couldn’t stand buying me doughnuts anymore for lunch, in the hope that I might fatten up. But it’s something that I would recommend to anyone. The doughnuts and the councillor.
She listened to me and all that I went through with the Narcissist (only the last 6 months’ worth, out of 5 years) but of course, provided no opinion. Lizzy clearly told me that once I was back from my Christmas holiday, I needed to get into a routine, do things that made me happy, and start to write things down. So, I did what I was told. (Not a regular occurrence I may add.)
I scouted a gym and started going regularly again, prepped my food on a Saturday for the whole week which I soon realised later that year, that cooking for one was absolute dog shite. Kudos to anyone who does it. I started going to the beach, reading self-help books, having my girlfriends over for dinner because I loved to host. Very house proud me. I stayed away from social outings because I couldn’t handle my drink still. Too emotional. And for Christmas, a friend bought me the book: ‘52 Lists for Happiness’ by Moorea Seal, meaning a weekly journal with plenty of opportunity to reflect on me, myself and I.
For any girl going through heart break, I honestly cannot recommend this enough. Forget Tinder and Instagram and the rest for validation and just focus on you. In fact, get rid of them. Definitely delete the dating apps accounts. And just remove the apps (Insta, Facebook, Snapchat yada yada yada) from your phone or where you usually access them.
When was the last time you did something for you?
When was the last time you did something that makes you happy? (emphasis on you)
When was the last time you said no, because you don’t actually want to do something or go somewhere?
"There is so much to learn in the world of love but… (prepare for the cheese), you cannot love someone else if at first you do not love yourself." - Holly Whitaker, 2019
I don’t believe in the word perfect, it doesn’t exist. Unless it’s a perfect doughnut or the perfect flavour of ice cream but that is just MY personal opinion. Do you respect yourself? What do you think you’re worth? I can guarantee you, you're worth way more than you think.
Hopefully that’s got your brain ticking. #sorrynotsorry for the truth bombs. I'm just looking out for you.
Oh and if you do want that journal, you can purchase it here
Comments