Because marriage is hard.
By the time Jimmy Lee was on the scene, I was a lot sassier. My ovaries had grown, meaning I was ballsier, confident, more like myself. Jimmy was one of the main people at this company I wanted to get involved in and intern at. He was a handsome guy in his late thirties. From Instagram I thought he was short ish. To me, his face looks like it belongs on a short person. Since then I’ve discovered he’s not short at all. His humour was excellent and since he left the company, it wasn’t the same without him. There was something about him I liked because he was always charming.
One day, I bluntly asked him when he was going to get me a job and he was gutted that I hadn’t asked him when he still worked in the company so he could be there to help and direct a little.
“Wait, I’m going to put you in touch with someone who can help you out. He’s a little horny 18 year old… actually this could be a bad idea putting you two in a room together”
“Jimmy, please tell me you are not referring to the Smooth Criminal?”
“Has he been on to you already? He is a smooth talker.”
“Yes he has. Yes he is.”
I couldn’t believe it. The Smooth Criminal was 18 (not 23 as he had told me the cheeky b*gger) and as smooth as chocolate syrup on ice cream - asking to get into my bed for a cuddle early on a Saturday morning knowing I was vulnerable and hanging.
I proper had a laugh – I mean, what else can you do? Hardly going to cry about it. Jimmy found it funny too but I didn’t reveal everything the Smooth Criminal had said. Didn’t think it fair.
Of course it meant that for me to get some experience with this company, I’d have to contact the Smooth Criminal on a professional basis – awks! I was 9 years older than him. So I did, “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you think I’m gorgeous.” He was mortified but of course I was going to tease him about it, I mean you can't blame him for trying. The banter continued and we just pretended that he never invited himself over for ‘cuddles and doughnuts’ but he did help me out. Boy did good. Not in that way - get your mind out the gutter.
As for Jimmy Lee, he was usually up at 3am his time, giving his youngest daughter a feed and that usually followed by ‘time to himself’ and him entering my DM’s, 6am my time because there was one thing on his mind. I don't want to be want bank material - ew!
Now, before you go ahead and judge me, I don’t do that kind of thing with married men. Especially married men with children. I believe that emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating, if not worse. But I was straight with Jimmy. I told him that I wasn't down with his behavior: flirting with me, scrolling through my insta, openly drooling over my photos. (FYI my photos are not some sort of porn feed, they are representation of a 28 year young single lady having fun with her friends on a bi-weekly basis in the Oasis).
He totally understood that his behavior was not on. I wasn't going to stand for it. But it didn't mean that he was going to stop, oh no. We have a persistent one ladies and gentlemen. He kept our conversation clean although implied that he had been looking through my photos. I am not going to lie, I liked the attention and I actually really liked Jimmy. As I said earlier, excellent banter.
But we got to a point where he started to be quite open with me. His partner and him had argued about relocating hence him not being able to support me interning. He didn't want to move but he also didn't want to lose his girls. What happens when you try to compromise? Usually mama wins. So he and his girls relocated for his wife meaning he actually was really unhappy and I got the feeling that there was a lot of love lost between them because of it.
Now that makes me sad because whilst I am here struggling to find my knight in shining armor, there's a man trying to still fight to be an example of one. But this time not for his wife but for his girls.
I am by no means a marriage expert. But this certainly hit me in the face with some of the challenges that can happen during marriage. And maybe a challenge that those who aren't expats don't even have to worry about? Relocation that is.
Food for thought. Marriage is hard.
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