Holly the nerd comes out.
You are always going to have those friends who think you would match perfectly with their partner’s friend. I’m not saying it never works out like that but in this case, it was never going to work out like that. I met Peter at my best friends leaving drinks after work on the Thursday. She was leaving the same company I worked for and moving back to the UK. Peter did not work for the same company I did. I wasn’t attracted to him. It doesn’t matter what he looked like but the fact that he was Australian (Aussie) was a problem, a personal red flag for me.
Yes, I know. I have just full on stereotyped. Australian’s are not all the same. I know. I have some absolutely awesome male and female friends who are Aussie’s but notice how I say friends. The Narc was an Aussie and to be honest, it kinda put me off them completely. Which is a shame because they are a beautiful species.
I still admire them… but best from afar.
New Neighbour's
Peter was moving to my area of town that same weekend and we joked about how close the apartment blocks were, that you could spy on what people were up to at night - if they didn’t have curtains. Somehow we managed to imagine that his neighbour would be wearing crocodile slippers in his underpants whilst hoovering on Tuesday nights at approximately 9pm– all whilst Peter would obviously be standing with some binoculars like an absolute moron. As that’s what people with neighbours with no curtains would do…. dur.
I may point out I am one of the lucky ones. I don’t have anyone on the other side of my apartment so I don’t have to worry about walking around naked. Something I do a lot.
Whilst I wasn’t attracted to Peter, his banter was quality and I didn’t see any harm in going for a drink at the local pub, you know because it was both our locals. (I had been in that apartment for a year and only been to it once but sure…. ‘Local’).
I had no idea what to wear. I was strictly told by my single friends, do not wear a dress. Wear jeans and a top. By my friends in relationships, a dress. Eye roll. I knew dating was going to be hard, can I not just go in my pyjamas?
I wore jeans and a top with a kimono and wedges. Wedges that made me trip up as I was walking to the Uber on cobbled stones. The Uber he was waiting in.
(Actual Holly: 1, Date version Holly: 0)
We proceeded to our local, for wine and nuts. No food. Which is probably the worst idea ever. I hadn’t lined my stomach and with all the wine; which as you know I was slowly getting back into, it was sure going to end me in disaster. One thing you don’t know about me. I love food. I love it so much that I don’t even enjoy it, I hoover it. I have been named one of the fastest eaters by my colleague. I’m not proud of it but I can’t help it. Boarding school does that to you. So to go out and just be offered nuts, well I am sure I was embarrassing to watch. Hand never stopped going in that bowl.
(Actual Holly: 2. Date version Holly: 0)
Luckily the conversation was good, I laughed a lot and my banter was on point too.
(Actual Holly: 2. Date version Holly: 1)
Until I had an embarrassing moment with a nut. I like half spat it out and it stuck to my face around the lower lip area and then my tongue proceeded to retrieve it. Peter definitely saw the whole thing but chose to completely ignore it as if he hadn’t seen it. I saw his face. He saw it.
(Actual Holly: 10. Date version Holly: 1)
Urgh, so awks. I mean it’s not a big deal because I don’t fancy the guy but still, no one wants to be remembered as the girl that can’t keep her nuts in her mouth.
I realised it was probably time to head home as
1) It’s not like anything more was going to happen i.e. no second date
and
2) it was a school night
As his place was first on the drop off, we dropped him off first. It was an awkward sitting hug in the Uber followed by a thanks for a great evening text.
Peter continued texting and was literally selling me ideas that my mum would love. He was aware of my mum loving them hence his enthusiasm but I ‘forgot’ to respond to a text: my parents came into town, it was my birthday and then my graduation so it naturally fizzled.
As you know we have mutual friends. In fact, more than one. This place is a small little Oasis so the chances of you knowing the same people is super high. I’d heard from a friend that worked with him that he was talking with another acquaintance about me in the cafeteria and how there’s no way I’d go on another date with him. This was months after the fact and neither of them knew that my friend knew me so it managed to wiggle its way back to me.
My bestie talked about how he was obsessed with me. She was definitely exaggerating.
I know… I can hear you. You must be thinking what is so special about this girl? Well I’ll let you in on my secret. I look at life with rose tinted glasses, have good vibes and I’ve been blessed with my mum being obsessed with the dentist so I have good teeth. They are by no means perfect (remember I don't believe in that word) but that’s what I'm going with.
I like to laugh and don’t take life too seriously, I have a dirty mind which if someone was to say an innuendo, I would 100% be the first one to laugh out loud. It’s happened many a time, especially in my CrossFit classes. “Make it longer” says the coach.
I don’t think it’s all looks ladies. It’s definitely the confidence and those vibes you send out. I love myself (not in the arrogant big headed way) but so much so that I put me first. Meaning boys come third, obviously after food, oh wait maybe fifth after family and CrossFit.
They know it. And they like it and don’t like it. There… that’s my secret.
But the moral of the story? Don’t go on dates with boys you aren’t interested in. It saves everyone’s feelings and time. I mean it saves yourself an awkward situation you may have to squirrel your way out of, especially if there's nuts involved.
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